You make very good points Patrick, but you must remember that our society will always apply the consequentialist point of view in a ethic dilemma, and not the utilitarian one which does focus more on reaching a compromise between the parties involved. Ethical dilemmas are not easy at all, especially when it comes to children being involved as they might not yet be able to tell "right" from "wrong".

However, the major issue with ethics that we will always face is that ethics is subjected by each person's culture. Life is complicated, but certain ethical view points can make it more complicated.